Tom had a unique way of putting things. Some of the things he said were just basically Ozarkian slang, many were a result of mocking someone else's speech, but a lot of them were just Tom being Tom.
All growed up All grown up - If someone corrected him by saying "grown" he would oblige them by groaning, literally!
Barking Coughing - I guess he thought it sounded like barking, especially the coughing of children.
Docean duh + ocean (the ocean) - Because Teri/Urdee used to say it that way.
Doodotuhs Strawberries - He said Teri called them that when she was little. She didn't remember this, but thought it might be because they had dots on them
Fart the stire Start the fire - Just a slight re-arrangement of consonants.
Gow here! Get out of here - Making fun of the way Teri said it.
Guttercide Suicide - suicide > sewercide > guttercide Calling a sewer a gutter is admittedly a bit of a stretch.
Hen fruit Eggs
Nixon An erasure - Because of the infamous gap on one of Nixon's whitehouse tapes.
Oh, pee on ____ ! - (fill in the blank) Tom's way of expressing contempt for something or someone.
Plastic bread White bread - Because it was supposedly artificial.
Religious Activity Hunting (by cats) - Predatory activity could be called "preying" a homophone of "praying", certainly considered a religious activity!
Soo soo Cement - Tim called it that when he was little.
Stug Protruding belly - Guts spelled backward.
Throwed Threw - Yes, he knew better!
Took off like a scalded dog - This refers to sudden rapid movement, usually away from the observer.
That beats anything I've seen in all my bornded days!
That's as worthless as tits on a boar! - A boar is a male pig. I'm sure you can figure out the rest!
Urin Yours - This was pronounced like "urine".
Why I was _____ 40 years before you were born! - (fill in the blank) He often said this to me, he accomplished a lot when he was only four months old! :)
Woom Room - Another Teri mocking Thomasism.